


I Know You're Not An Option (But How Sweet Life Would Be If You Were!)

by bindaetteokgirl



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, I swear it's not angst, Internalized Homophobia, angst? but only for the first half, hyejoo centric, then it's quite soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:02:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24049387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bindaetteokgirl/pseuds/bindaetteokgirl
Summary: Two times Hyejoo wasn't in love, and one time she was.
Relationships: Park Chaewon | Go Won & Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye, Park Chaewon | Go Won/Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye
Comments: 12
Kudos: 152





	I Know You're Not An Option (But How Sweet Life Would Be If You Were!)

**Author's Note:**

> hi i hope u enjoy this fic i am simply a sucker for hyewon and interalised homophobia u know how it is. i'm a lil rusty on the old keyboard bc this is one of the first things i've written in months but alas! i think she's kinda cute. have fun :]

The first time Hyejoo realises boys aren't for her is at the age of seven when a boy in her class, one she considers a friend, presents her with a daisy and asks if she'll be his girlfriend. She knows he's just being nice, and she's been told that she should be flattered, but she doesn't like him as much as she thinks she should. More importantly, she doesn't want to carry a plant home in her bag. He'll understand that. After shaking her head no, however, he says some things seven year olds aren't meant to say, throws the flower on the ground, and stomps on it. Hyejoo doesn't like the fact he was able to change so easily, and inside, she's angry.

But when the bell rings, Hyejoo apologizes to him, and sits alone at the back of class for the rest of the day.

It's at the age of eleven, Hyejoo starts lying to herself. She knows who she is and she knows it's wrong, and so she tells herself that boys are okay. She can't stomach the thought that one day she'll get married, but that'll change, right? It has to. Boys are her only option.

By the time she's fourteen, Hyejoo's heart starts beating at an unrecognisable rate, and she thinks it might be a good thing. There's this girl in the grade above her, Kim Jiwoo, who is just... She doesn't know how to explain it really. She makes her insides feel like freshly swirled cotton candy and her smile makes Hyejoo want to become a comedian, one who does nothing but make Jiwoo laugh, because the sound makes her feel so much more fulfilled and proud than anything else ever could. Thinking about Jiwoo makes her happy, as long as she doesn't think too hard. Then she feels empty, then it's unbearable. So one day, she pokes Jiwoo in the shoulder as she's leaving her locker. "Hyejoo!" She says, smiling as she turns. "How are you?"

Huh.

Hyejoo didn't think such a simple question could hurt so badly. She inhales deeply, mentally preparing a ramble that could last for a solid hour, and upon exhale finds that nothing leaves her lungs but air. In one moment she's become completely weak and she has no idea what to do. Jiwoo understands in an instant. "Let's go somewhere and talk, okay?" She says in that usual cheery tone. She's worried, but refuses to show it for the sake of her friend, wrapping an arm tight around Hyejoo's shoulder and guiding her outside of the building.

They walk in almost fearful silence until they reach a small lake out of sight from school. Jiwoo sits, crossing her legs beneath her, and pats the ground beside her. "Come on," she ushers, moving her hand so Hyejoo can sprawl herself across the grass. "Wanna tell me what happened back there?" She asks, looking at Hyejoo curiously. Her face is dull and all she can do is shrug. "Want me to guess?" Hyejoo nods.

"I think," Jiwoo starts, humming a pensive tone. "You're not sure. And what you've been told is wrong, and-" she drags out that word, drawing a circle in the sky with her finger. "You don't know what to do about it. Am I close?"

Hyejoo didn't mind how utterly vague that guess was, because her thoughts were equally as non-specific as what Jiwoo had just described.

"There's this girl," she begins suddenly, sitting upright and staring at the grass. "And I really like-as in like-her, and I-I don't know what to do because I know I shouldn't, and that it's wrong-"

Jiwoo sighs before pulling Hyejoo into an embrace. Her scent of peaches is soothing and familiar and her touch is warm and kind. The hazy cloud in Hyejoo's head unravels when Jiwoo's wraps her arm around her, and when she pulls apart the comfort stays. "You're not doing anything wrong, Hyejoo. I'm proud of you," she says with a newfound sense of admiration in her tone. "Can I ask you something, though?"

Hyejoo nods.

"The girl is me, isn't it?"

The hazy cloud comes straight back as Hyejoo gives another, more shameful nod. All she can think about is how stupid she is for even bringing this up and how terrible this is and how it's simply unbearable-

Jiwoo leans forward to press a soft kiss into Hyejoo's cheek. She can't see the pale pink lipstick mark, but she knows it's there, and it helps. It really helps. "Hyejoo, you're gonna be some girl's one and only, her dream. And I know that right now you really like _me_ , but I have a girlfriend, and I really like _her_. I'm not an option right now, Hyejoo. So, you've gotta promise that you'll get over me, okay?"

Jiwoo has one hand rubbing Hyejoo's shoulder, and one hand in front of her, pinky sticking out. Smiling a relieved smile, Hyejoo pinky promises that some day, she'll move on.

At the age of sixteen a new student, Park Chaewon, joins Hyejoo's class. She's this short, quiet girl with pale blonde hair and a high pitched voice that people aren't used to hearing because she speaks too quietly (and infrequently) for anyone to hear her. What they are used to hearing, however, is the tiny giggle that comes from the corner of every room where she sits next to Hyejoo.

When Chaewon first transfers, Hyejoo isn't the kindest to her. No one is. She's not mean or anything like that. No, she’d never be mean-just silent. She makes no effort to be her friend, because upon hearing Chaewon's nervous giggle, Hyejoo knew she'd fall for her. Avoidance was clearly the best, if not only way to avoid that. Hyejoo hasn’t had bad thoughts for a while. And she most certainly doesn't want to start having them now. But since Hyejoo sat solidary in the back of just about every class, Chaewon found that there wasn't a single available seat anywhere except next to her. She doesn't mind sitting next to Hyejoo, though. Chaewon knows that she could sit next to someone different in every class and it wouldn't change a thing. No one would ever seem to like her.

The uncomfortable period of distance between Hyejoo and her new classmate lingers for about two weeks. In this span of time, Hyejoo only hears her speak once, and it's in science when she asks if she can go to the bathroom. Hyejoo thinks it's odd that, with only a few minutes left in class, Chaewon sees it fit to leave. What's stranger, she leaves her bag. Once the bell has rang and Chaewon still hasn't returned, Hyejoo feels a growing pit in her stomach. She stays in class for a solid five minutes longer than anyone else including Miss Yoon and yet Chaewon still hasn't come back. Seeing no better option, Hyejoo hauls her own and Chaewon's bag over her shoulders and stands to leave. It's now that the door clicks open, a quiet sound in the near empty room, followed by Chaewon tentatively peeking inside.

She stares at the ground as she shuffles inside, and as she approaches, Hyejoo's heart aches at how ashamed she looks. "I-I'm sorry, I left my bag here and I just-I need it and then I'll go, I'm sorry." When Chaewon looks up for the briefest moment, Hyejoo sees that her eyes are red and puffy, her face stained by tears.

"I was on my way to give it to you but I-wait, are you okay?"

Chaewon sniffs and gives an only somewhat forced giggle in response. "That's really sweet of you, thanks," she says, wiping her tears as best she can with the sleeve of her sweater. "I'm okay. Could I have my bag, please?"

Not a thought of disobeying her in Hyejoo's head, she passes Chaewon her bag, using her free arm to place a supportive hand on her shoulder. "I know I'm not the most... _Inviting_ person, to say the least," Hyejoo starts, not entirely sure where she's going. "But I'm here, okay? Please talk to me."

Without another word Chaewon has her face buried in her hands and Hyejoo is holding her tighter than she's ever felt it appropriate to hold a person before. She rests her chin atop Chaewon's head, stroking her hair to try and console her muted sobs. "You're okay," Hyejoo reminds her in periodic whispers. Her tone is awkward and flat yet still comforting. Her heart is beating like it's on the verge of imploding, and despite the fear that Chaewon can feel it, Hyejoo holds her close to her chest, her grip remaining strong until Chaewon is able to ease her sobs. It’s so fucking strange, but, in a sense, nice.

Somewhat unwilling, Chaewon slowly removes herself from Hyejoo's grip and looks up at her. "Tell me what's wrong?" Hyejoo asks, moving her other hand from Chaewon's waist up to her shoulder. "Being here is just... hard," She sighs, blinking rapidly to restrain herself. "I haven't been alone in a while and I'm just struggling to get used to it." Despite the smile on her face, more tears are spilling out of Chaewon's eyes. It's an unbearable sight, and all Hyejoo can do is cup her cheek and wipe underneath Chaewon's eye with her thumb. "I'll be okay, though. Just need some more time."

Hyejoo's heart is breaking. "You don't have to get used to it, okay?" She smiles fondly at Chaewon, "You're not gonna be alone because-I'll be by your side no matter what!"

Chaewon laughs and glances at the ground. "I'm fine, seriously. Thank you, though."

"It's not a choice, Chaewon," Hyejoo says in a somewhat stern tone, leaning closer to Chaewon as she looks back up at her. "We're best friends now."

Seeing no point in arguing, Chaewon simply flings her arms and Hyejoo and thanks her, the smile on her face genuine and lingering.

It feels like an eternity since that encounter, but really Hyejoo’s only known Chaewon for a few short months.Yet still, she knows her favourite colour, the name of her dog, her order at their local boba place, and knows that how no matter many people are around she still wants to hold hands. Hyejoo likes that about Chaewon, how silently unafraid she is. In her mind, everything Chaewon does is some grand gesture which proclaims to the world that she doesn’t care, that nothing can stop her from resting her head on another girl’s shoulder and being unapologetically enamoured with her.

Too bad that’s all in her mind.

It’s a Friday evening in early April. It’s Chaewon’s favourite time of year because it’s no longer as bitter and numb as Winter yet still cold enough to comfortably cuddle her friends (although that’s something even the sticky overbearing warmth of Summer can’t prevent.) She’s also in love with the way the sun seems to hit her skin perfectly for photoshoots under nearby cherry blossom trees. Hyejoo’s fallen in love with that, too, although some might argue she’s really just in love with Chaewon. Either would be correct.

“Are you sure you aren’t blind yet?” Hyejoo asks, huffing out a laugh as Chaewon shifts her pose and tries not to squint. She looks beautiful. Hyejoo would happily stand here taking photos for another three hours if she could, but she promised her mom she’d be home by six, and it’s already quarter past. “You say that like it’ll stop me,” Chaewon giggles, motioning for Hyejoo to come closer and take a few more headshots.

Hyejoo and Chaewon have an agreement when it comes to taking photos that unless it’s going on Chaewon’s snapchat, every picture must be taken on Hyejoo’s phone as Chaewon takes too long to decide, whereas Hyejoo simply chooses a random ten without looking and hopes for the best. Hyejoo quite likes this arrangement as it allows her Park Chaewon folder to have nearly a thousand pictures already. She also likes this arrangement because it gives her an excuse to stare at Chaewon for as long as she wants without anyone knowing. Still, she doesn’t like to be too obvious about her happiness in this position, occasionally complaining to better sell the act.

“How many more of these do you want me to take?” she asks, scrolling through her phone gallery to stare at the two hundred or so nearly identical pictures she’s taken today. It’s only slightly embarrassing how reluctant she is to delete a single one of them. “Just a few more!” Chaewon says sweetly, resting her hand on her cheek and waiting . Hyejoo looks at her for a second, biting her lip. She looks surprisingly pensive. For a second Chaewon considers dropping her pose, but before she has time to move Hyejoo’s hand is atop hers, gently pressing Chaewon’s hand against her now warm cheek.

“Cute,” Hyejoo remarks under her breath, unable to wipe the grin off her face. She takes a moment to admire Chaewon’s slightly flustered expression before taking a picture. Chaewon smiles a little, leaning into Hyejoo’s hand. “Don’t send me that one, I look bad.” Hyejoo takes another just as the sun shifts in the sky. She doesn’t even have to look at it to know she looks stunning. Her cheeks tinted pink, a friendly smile gracing her face, the fact that it’s _her_ is enough for Hyejoo to want it framed and placed on her desk to look at instead of doing her social studies homework. “You never look bad,” Hyejoo says softly.

For a second, there’s silence. It’s comfortable, though. It’s always comfortable with her.

In one swift movement Chaewon laces her fingers with Hyejoo’s and pulls their hands down by her side, tugging at Hyejoo to stand next to her. “Last one,” she promises, taking Hyejoo’s phone and holding it at a slight angle so that they look closer to the same height. Hyejoo snorts when she acknowledges how tall she looks standing next to Chaewon, not realising that she’s already smiling at the camera. “Shit, go again,” Hyejoo giggles, leaning into her and winking. “Ooh, we’re hot,” Chaewon whispers, handing Hyejoo her phone. “Hell yes we are.”

Chaewon sways their hands together as Hyejoo walks her home, humming an Oh My Girl song to herself quietly as they make their way down the street. Hyejoo doesn’t even care about the seven missed calls from her mom, because she knows Chaewon is happy, and she’d happily get yelled at by a concerned parent every day for the rest of her life if it meant seeing Chaewon smile. “Wanna come in?” Chaewon asks as they reach her front door. Hyejoo shakes her head. “Sorry, I promised my mom I’d come home before six.”  
  
“Before six?” Chaewon gasps. She’s no longer swinging their hands together and is standing in front of Hyejoo, pouting. “Why didn’t you tell me? I wouldn't have made you take so many pictures of me if I knew…”  
  
Hyejoo just laughs at this, taking both of Chaewon’s hands and running her thumbs gently along her knuckles. “Chaewon,” she starts, her tone somewhat serious. “You know that there’s nothing more important to be than filling my entire gallery with pictures of you standing under a tree. Nothing,” she repeats in a whisper, leaning in closer to amplify her point. Chaewon giggles and looks down for a moment. “You’re so dumb,” she says, looking Hyejoo in the eyes, a fond expression on her face. God, she’s pretty.

_Kiss her._

Hyejoo’s eyes widen as she suddenly looks away, her face now warm. _What the fuck?_ She thinks to herself, freeing her hands and scratching the back of her neck. No way, no fucking way did she just think that. Hyejoo’s heart is pounding as she mentally scrutinises herself. For some reason, Chaewon doesn’t ask what’s wrong. Nor does she seem to notice anything strange. When Hyejoo finally brings herself to glance over at her again, she notices Chaewon staring at the ground, her hair covering her face.

“I’ll, um, I’ll text you when I get home,” Hyejoo says, swallowing hard. “Yeah.” Chaewon still doesn’t look up. Her voice is quiet and nervous.

“Uh. Bye.”

“Bye! Bye.”  
  
And with that Hyejoo runs home, panting by the time she’s reached her front room. She saves herself the lecture by quickly hugging her mom and making a b-line for her room, locking the door, turning on her computer and taking an “Am I Gay?” quiz on playbuzz.

Yes. Yes, she is.

It's nine months after her transfer that Hyejoo truly understands just how important Chaewon is to her.

They're sitting in silence on Hyejoo's bed, Chaewon lying on her stomach with a sketchbook hidden under bundles of blonde hair, and Hyejoo sits cross-legged against the headboard. The only sound she hears is that of Kang Seulgi's voice, which blares through her earphones and distracts her from her thoughts. The problem, really, is that she can't stop thinking. Every time she talks to Chaewon she notices something new, something that she subconsciously falls in love with. At first, her laugh. Hyejoo's never been the greatest with words but if a sonnet could bring her joy she'd write daily stanzas. Then, Chaewon could laugh at the absurdity of it, and that would be enough. Anything would be enough.

What’s funny, though, is how different her laugh is from Jiwoo’s. Yet at the same time, so utterly alike. _How does that make sense?_ She asks herself, comparing the two sounds and analysing each. Both make her happy. Both are sweet, like an audible form of honey. But Chaewon’s feels different. It’s a high airy sound that lifts the weight of the world off Hyejoo’s shoulders in an instant. It feels like a warm blanket wrapping around cold skin, like sleep to an insomniac, like-

Hyejoo shuts her eyes tight and turns the volume up on her phone.

When Eyes Locked, Hands Locked stops playing, however, Hyejoo goes straight back to thinking. Thinking about her. Even when it replays, now that Chaewon is on her mind, Hyejoo can't distract herself. Pulling one earbud out, she leans forward from the headboard and silently adjusts herself so that she's laying on her back next to Chaewon. When she senses the movement around her, Chaewon says nothing, but instead hums a long, monotone note before propping herself up on her elbows, flinging her hair back, and holding her sketchbook out in front of her.

"Perfect!" she exclaims, causing Hyejoo to turn over on her side and look at the sketchbook Chaewon’s tilting in her direction. It's a cutesy, cartoonish drawing of two girls holding hands. Hearts surround the pair, and in the far right corner reads a word half covered by Chaewon's thumb.

"Hyeee-" she starts, moving Chaewon's thumb out of the way. "-Won. Hyewon."

Chaewon turns to look at her, feeling perfectly content when she sees Hyejoo's tiny smile. "It's good, right?"

“As good as you are modest,” she teases, laughing when Chaewon punches her in the arm. “Kidding,” she says, smiling down at the drawing. Despite how incredibly obvious it is who she's portraying, Hyejoo can’t help silently hoping to herself that maybe, just maybe it’s someone else. Chaewon’s a lot more popular now than she was when she first moved here, it wouldn’t be that surprising if she knew several girls with long black hair and triangle lips and names starting with Hye and-

"You're really easy to draw, Hyejoo."

Well, shit. There goes that theory. After a couple seconds of wordlessly admiring the piece, Hyejoo finally speaks, her voice tentative and quiet. "Can I keep it?"

"Of course!" Chaewon beams, ripping the page out. "I made it for you, dummy."

As Chaewon crawls up the bed to place the page underneath Hyejoo's pillow, she pleads with herself to just say nothing, to appreciate her friend's art and nothing else, but it doesn't work. What if, she wonders, praying she'll go deaf before she can finish the thought. What if she feels the same way you do?

Stop it, Hyejoo, she tells herself. Park Chaewon is not, and will never be an option.

"Chaewon?" She asks, sitting up. Chaewon shuffles closer to her and hums in response. Hyejoo isn't really sure what she plans on saying, she just wanted to say her name. Chaewon. It's a name almost as pretty as she is. "I'm glad I know you, that's all."

Chaewon flings her arms around Hyejoo so suddenly it causes her to fall back, her hair falling over her face and into her eyes. Chaewon giggles, and it's such a pure sound that Hyejoo can't help but reciprocate. For the briefest of moments, she stops worrying, and grins up at Chaewon. She can barely see her, but Hyejoo knows that she looks beautiful. When does she not? She snakes her arms the slightest bit tighter around Chaewon's waist before eventually speaking. "Also, I love you."

Her chest feels light as Chaewon brushes strands of hair behind Hyejoo's ear, her heart racing as she leans down to her ear and whispers back, "I love you, too, Hyejoo," before kissing her cheek and rolling back over onto her side next to her. Hyejoo can only hope she loves her in the right way.

It's the night before Chaewon's eighteenth birthday, only a couple minutes until midnight, and she's never looked so breathtaking. Her face is lit by the moon as they sit on Hyejoo's porch, her heart beating as their fingers intertwine. "You're literally ancient," Hyejoo remarks, smiling as she talks. "I still have another-" Chaewon pauses to unlock her phone and look at the time. "Three minutes."

"Three minutes until you can collect your pension!"

“Hey!" Chaewon exclaims with a laugh, flicking freshly dyed bubblegum-pink hair over her shoulders to look at Hyejoo. "Respect your elders.”

“Or what?”  
  
“I’ll... call life alert.”  
  
Hyejoo snorts. “Oh, yeah? What are they gonna do?”

Chaewon’s eyebrows furrow, and, pouting, she takes a moment to think. “Escort you off the premises for being mean to me.” Hyejoo shakes her head and laughs a little before scooting closer, resting her free hand on top of Chaewon’s. “You really are so old.” Chaewon gently nudges Hyejoo in the side, leaning her head into the crook between her neck and shoulder. “I’m meant to be in the class above you, y’know. Moving around so much made me fall behind, though, so I’m in your year! Kinda sucks, if I’m honest, considering how lame you are.”  
  
“Hey!” Hyejoo exclaims. There’s a stern look on her face and she forces the corners of her mouth into a frown. “You love me.” Chaewon smiles as she curls into Hyejoo’s side. “Yeah, I do.”

“Only a minute left,” Hyejoo says, checking her phone. She doesn’t show it, but she’s more excited than Chaewon is. To her, this is more than just a birthday. From this point on there won’t be a year where Chaewon doesn’t know her name, and that’s all she wants. She stuffs a shaky hand into her jacket pocket and fumbles with the still slightly damp stem of a flower she’s been carrying around for about two days now. Hyejoo runs her thumb across the petals to check they’re still intact and luckily they are.

She knows she can’t do this. She’s been weighing up the pros and cons of confession for only God knows how long and if Chaewon doesn’t like her back then she’s not only at risk of losing the girl she’s in love with, but her best friend, too. Her soulmate. Platonic or romantic she can't be sure, but regardless, Hyejoo knows this shouldn't be an option. But, somehow, she doesn’t care anymore. She pulls the daisy out of her pocket and stares at it for a minute. Whatever happens, she can take it. She’s not a temperamental little boy, nor is she a scared closeted fourteen year old. Hyejoo’s in love. And even though it scares the shit out of her, she wants the world to know.

Hyejoo inhales deeply and prepares to speak. Chaewon’s smells like blueberry pancakes and home, a scent Hyejoo could breathe in forever. “Can I tell you something?” Chaewon asks finally, causing Hyejoo to quickly shut her mouth, pulling herself back to look at her. Face lit by the moonlight, Hyejoo wonders how it’s possible she becomes more beautiful every day. “Yeah, of course. What’s up?”

“I…No, it’s fine, I’ll tell you later.”  
  
Hyejoo frowns. “Tell me what?”

Chaewon bites her lip. “It doesn’t matter. Forget I said anything.”  
  
“I have something I need to tell you, too,” she says, her heart pounding in her ears. Chaewon still hasn’t noticed the small flower Hyejoo’s twirling around in the hand she’s not using to hold hers. “Oh?”  
  
“We could say it at the same time, if that makes it easier,” Hyejoo suggests, causing Chaewon to giggle. “Sounds like an awful idea. You go first!”

Averting her gaze, Hyejoo isn’t entirely sure how to respond, but she doesn’t have time to ponder. She needs to time this right. “Instead of telling you,” she starts, a slight smile creeping onto her face as she turns to look at Chaewon. She looks confused and intrigued, tilting her head to one side. “How about I show you?”

Chaewon stares at Hyejoo, an expression she can’t read on her. A second passes and Chaewon nods, certainty in her movement. It’s silly, but Hyejoo almost considers backing out. When she sees Chaewon’s eyes are closed and her lips are just a fraction parted, however, she knows. This is her only option. And it’s a damn good one.

Without a sound Hyejoo drops the daisy onto her lap and rests a hand on Chaewon’s cheek, the other at her side, pushing her forward until she can feel Chaewon’s breath on her skin. She’s nervous, it’s obvious, she’s had a wistful look on her face all day and even now that their eyes are both closed and Chaewon’s patiently waiting for Hyejoo to do something, she’s still nervous this is all just a dream she’s on the verge of waking up from. That fear leaves her when Chaewon wraps an arm loosely around Hyejoo’s waist and leans in, gently giggling against Hyejoo’s lips. Some part of Hyejoo wants to make a teasing comment and ask if she’s really that bad a kisser, but that would require cutting this moment short, and there’s nothing Hyejoo wants less. After a year of fantasising she was almost afraid of disappointment, but this? Somehow, it’s more perfect than Hyejoo imagined, because it’s so similar yet so different to anything they’ve known before. It’s new and exciting (and still fucking terrifying) but the feeling of Chaewon’s hand in hers? That’s the one thing that could never change.

In the midst of Hyejoo tucking a strand of hair behind Chaewon’s ear, she can feel her phone vibrate in her pocket, signalling her to immediately pull apart. “It’s today!” she exclaims, grinning at the flustered expression on her face. “Was that your present?” Chaewon asks sheepishly as she looks down at her shoes, her cheeks tinted pink. “Hm, part of it,” Hyejoo responds. She brings her hand down from Chaewon’s face to fumble around in her pocket again. “I got you this, too,” she says, pulling a small box out and opening it. “Proposing already?” Chaewon laughs, leaning her head onto Hyejoo’s shoulder. “Very funny,” Hyejoo retorts, nudging Chaewon in the side with her elbow before opening the box. “It, uh, it’s a promise ring. It’s stupid I know-”

“It’s perfect,” Chaewon whispers, carefully taking the ring from the box. Her voice is tiny in wonder. “Wow,” she says, admiring the jewelry. “You got it engraved?” Hyejoo nods, a huff of nervous laughter escaping her lips as Chaewon looks at it. She’s too embarrassed to look at her face but the sound of Chaewon excitedly giggling as Hyejoo slips the ring onto her finger tells her all she needs to know. “Happy birthday, Chaewon,” Hyejoo says softly, her tone fond. Rather than using words to respond, Chaewon flings her arms around Hyejoo and squeezes her tightly in a hug, her eyes brimming with tears as Hyejoo rubs circles on her back. “Thank you,” Chaewon whispers, almost too quiet to be heard. Hyejoo snakes her hands off of Chaewon’s back to cup her cheeks, wiping underneath her eyes. “Hey, don’t cry. What are you thanking me for?”

“Everything. Specifically for finally making a move, though. Seriously, I’ve been flirting with you for how long?” She asks. Hyejoo groans. “Come on, those first four Am I Gay quizzes told me I was a bicurious male, you can’t blame me for hesitating!”

Chaewon giggles again and presses a quick kiss against Hyejoo’s mouth. Her chapstick tastes like vanilla and her lips are soft, just as Hyejoo imagined they would be. “You’re so dumb,” Chaewon mumbles, unable to look away. She looks at her like she’s the first day of Spring. Fallen cherry blossoms serve only as an accessory, as nature’s true beauty takes form in a girl with long black hair and triangle lips and a laugh at thaws through even black ice. “You love me,” she says.

“Yeah," Chaewon responds. "I do.”

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this when i was fourteen and it positively BLOWS anyway my twitter is @candyjaehee thank you so much for reading i promise i'm a better writer than this. see u soon!


End file.
